It is a paradox.
A few incidents happened in the last couple of days leaving me totally confused and totally sure at the same time. It is like knowing dark and light are the same thing and yet totally different things.
The first one was a fight between 2 ex colleagues. Apparently both felt the other was gossiping about each other to other people! The gossip was about an extra marital affair they were supposed to be having with of course different men in the same office and one feels the other spikes up the rumor mills whereas the other feels the same about the other person. And I felt like a priest taking upon confessions, the long week of updates and yet reserving my comments to both and trying to pacify the scene with ‘no, that cant be true’ and ‘why don’t you let it go’ comments. As it is, what gain in adding fuel to burning fire. I have learnt a long time ago that when trapped between two fighting woman, the best way to walk out without causalities is to keep calm and pacify. And what troubled me was I couldn’t make out who was saying the truth. Because both were just saying exactly the same things about the other person!:P
The second was a rather surprising meet up with some old college friends and their children. All meeting after years but feeling the same closeness and warmth as it was 8 years back. The only difference was that around this time, the conversations were instead of hot boys and cool hang out places and new fashion trends and gossips, it was more about our kids diet, play schools, maid worries, finding out which other classmate was having children and totally different subjects, but all revolving somewhere around kids! It was amazing how our priorities change. And this time around, there were also 4 tiny lips doing a lot of blabbering. All yapping and talking and playing at the same time and surprisingly wanting the same things – wanting to play in boomerang and wanting to have finger chips and ice cream for lunch! It was almost virtual reality. Equally amazing and equally off. 8 years back had we even thought of this day, I am sure the mere thoughts itself would have been as awkward as having a giraffe in a room! But when it happened in reality, it was as if this was how it was all along. As natural as can be. Did time really change or it dint?
The last was a reconciliation with an old friend. A once very close to heart friend. Who broke my trust and withered away with time. Whose thoughts itself were erased from my memory consciously owing to the repressed hurt it gave. It has been 12 years since we spoke. In between some moments of deep conversation he told me he had always regretted doing what he did at that point of time but there was nothing he could do about it or say now to change it. I felt the same. What was the point in mutual apologies and sorry’s after a prolonged silence spanning over 12 years? Will it ever make a difference to anything? I remembered it was there I had stopped being intense about friendships and learnt to draw a line somewhere in between. But the question still remained. Can you really forgive your past? But again you are just 2 people who shared good times and helped each other in times of need! Can people change?
All this happening on the same week and I am left wondering like Issac Newton would have, when the apple fell on his poor head. Gravity or no gravity, I realized I was giving some serious emotional thoughts after a long time. On one hand, we know that everything happens with the same people. On the other hand we are not very sure about it either. We evolve from what we were to what are and to what we will be.So which is true and which is not.
I think the answer is both.