Have you ever sat on your bed in your parents house in your old pink painted bedroom and stared endlessly onto nothing on a weekday night and screwed up your nose and felt blank and emotionless? Probably not! But I have, like I do now. I have been sitting like this for sometime now, precisely after I had an elaborate fight with the husband who finaly shut me up completely when he said its better to get seperated because I had told him (well insisted pretty much) that I wanted to go to Delhi for a week to meet my best friend and have some girl time out! He had said he would ‘understand’ if it was for work, but for having fun, No! I had sulked and am still sulking and have driven to my parents house. I know he would come and would probably take me out for an icecream later at night and I will have to exchange my one week of Delhi dreams for mostly a fully paid shopping spree ( by him). I feel the concept of paid shopping was invented by husbands to lure angry wives back to the house. 😉
Is all marriages like this or is it just mine I wonder. Sometimes at the height of anger I feel it is genuine t pseudo male chauvenism at its best to marry a girl and make her live like a bird in a cage! And why was I so keen to get married in the first place? I think its high time that marriages should be renamed as the ‘big fat Indian comic confinement’ !
Of course I am not a feminist, nor do I advocate female empowerment and I have been least bothered by the female vs men debates anytime in my life. It is also also not even a question on who is superior to who. But giving and taking space in a relation is as important as everything else in life and I feel thats one of the most important aspect in todays relations.
Why are married woman not allowed to do things that they like?I have travelled alone to places in india with friends or alone before i got married and my parents never had any problem with it. Is it by tying the knot, you are knoted for life?
What do you do when you love travelling and you are not ‘allowed’ to do it. Is family holidays your only scope to see the far fledged vast beautiful world? Or you want to write something a certain way but you are forced to edit it and sugar coat it to appeal to the society? Why are we so biased towards having to demonstrate a perfect life to everyone around? If happiness is the only emotion we aspire why are there a million other emotions in us?And who invented the word adjustment? With all the goodness found in a family sometimes somewhere the identity of the woman looses its uniqueness.
Sometimes you realise on a weekday night that life is not exactly what you planned it to be and suddenly you feel like Budha under a bodhi tree. And the enlightment is yet to happen ! Lets hope the weekend is better. 🙂
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