When an actress who had been away from the movies for many years because she was married to an actor decided to divorce him and come back to movies, most of the people around me blamed her – ‘she just wants to come back to the limelight,she lacks values, she must have tortured him so much that he needs a divorce from her..blah blah blahs.

When another actress was raped in Ernakulam city recently, people around me(not all) blamed her – ‘she must have done something terrible to him to evoke such hatred, she was never a good person, she shouldnt have traveled alone at night, afterall shes an actress, you dont know whats the actual story…blah blah blahs..’.

When intimate pictures of another actress was leaked couple of days back, they said this again – ‘ Why did she go with the guy before she was married, why did she let him take the pictures, what is the use of complaining now..blah blah blah…’

When a journalist filed a police complaint today about her boss raping her after promising marriage and ditching her these people are at it again – ‘consensual sex doesn’t cumulate to rape, she has been at it and now why the complaint, dint she know he was married, why dint she use her head…blah blah blah’.

I am just sick and tired of the hypocrisy around me. Why do you find it so easy to point your finger always towards the woman? Why is your mind so conditioned to come up with these ‘ why did SHE’s and the ‘SHE shouldnt have’s as soon as something happens. Why is the notion of the ‘ela chennu mullil veenalum, mullu chennu elayil veenalum kedu elakanu’ so so strong in your minds?

We dont always hear someone balming a guy, do we? Why dont you even glance at the man sideways?In the recent rape case against the actor who is currently in jail, there are so many which includes a majority of woman who are supporting him and hoping for his bail. It is totally insane!

Is it because we Malayalis have this innate sense to care? To care and to judge and to speculate? It is expected that a girl growing up in Kerala needs to know her ‘limits’. We judge if the length of her skirt is right or whether her moral compass is in check. Aren’t we experts in offering preventive mesures right after any problem has escalated to the highest levels?(Total pro levels at that!) We over look such ‘silly’ things as emotions or feelings(of the woman ofcourse). It should always be about living the ‘righteous’ way! And the righteous way almost always is when she knows her ‘limits’ as a woman. Anyone who dithers from it will know the Mallu wrath.

Its high time that we uncondition our minds to such over concentrated trivialities. We need to start playing a fair game. Every coin has two sides. Lets not always pound on the same side of the coin just because it has a womans face etched on it!

2 thoughts on “

  1. We are so used to! Those who cannot stand it tend to respond and become the ‘offenders’. Whereas, the case should be just the opposite! When we turn around and ask them would you respond or not respond in the same way had it been your friend or sister or daughter, they just give a disgusting stare and shake their head as if they are saying, ‘Oh I know why you say that’! And we claim to be virtuous, religious, spiritual and what not!!! To hell with their faith if they cannot respect a woman

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